The Pats Scored 45 (!) Unanswered Points In A 45-7 Drubbing Of The Browns & A Fourth Straight Win

 

    The complete turnaround by the Patriots (6-4 overall, 2-4 home) over the last month has been nothing short of remarkable. This afternoon at Gillette Stadium, Cleveland (5-5 overall, 2-3 away) marched down the field on an impressive opening drive (11 plays, 84 yards, 4:55) and capped it off with a two-yard touchdown pass from quarterback Baker Mayfield (11-of-21 for 73 yards, TD, INT) to tight end Austin Hooper. No sweat, Browns kicker Chase McLaughlin's extra point was the last point of the entire game for Cleveland as New England rattled off 45 consecutive points en route to a throughly impressive 45-7 victory. Pats rookie quarterback Mac Jones (19-of-23 for 198 yards, 3 TDs) had his best and most efficient game as a pro and New England's defense combiend for five sacks as they won their fourth game in a row. 

    Earlier this season, we wondered if Patriots head coach Bill Belichick was losing his fastball on the sidelines and now, if he keeps this up he has to be considered a front-runner for the NFL Coach of the Year (which would be his 4th, tying Don Shula for the most all-time). More importantly, his team has transformed itself from an afterthought to one of the hottest in the league that seems to get better every week not to mention a legitimate threat in the weak AFC. Tight end Hunter Henry caught two touchdown passes (giving him TD catches in 6 straight games and 8 overall in that time span) and rookie running back Rhamondre Stevenson (20 carries, 100 yards, 2 TDs; 14 yards receiving) returned from last week's concussion to record a solid performance. Wide receiver Kendrick Bourne (4 catches, 98 yards, TD; 3 rushes, 43 yards) has also proven to be a valuable weapon for offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels as he continues to open up what started out as a pretty basic playbook in 2021.   

    This being the Browns, they just had to fall apart in epic fashion. Mayfield hurt his knee which forced his backup Case Keenum to finish the game for him. The two teams' numbers on third down told the entire story as New England was seven-for-nine and Cleveland was one-for-11. Henry caught a third yard touchdown pass from Jones late in the first quarter and Nick Fok's point-after tied it at seven. After Patriots safety Kyle Dugger picked off Mayfield and returned the interception to Cleveland's five-yard line, it took one play for Stevenson to punch it in and give New England a lead that they would never relinquish. Folk's kick made it 14-7 and that quickly became 21-7 after Jones' strike through two defenders to Bourne for a leaping 23-yard touchdown catch. Folk's 38-yard field goal with 17 seconds left in the second quarter handed the Patriots a commanding 24-7 lead at halftime. 

    Stevenson added a two-yard touchdown run in the third quarter and Folk's extra point made it 31-7 in favor of the home team. In the fourth quarter, Henry caught another three-yard touchdown from Jones and Folk hit another point after. Finally, wide receiver Jakobi Meyers ended the highlight reel filled day for the Pats with an 11-yard touchdown catch and run from backup quarterback Brian Hoyer-his first TD catch in the NFL after three long seasons. Folk's sixth point after gave New England its final margain of 45-7. 

    It will be a short week for the Pats as they will travel to Mercedes Benz Stadium for a Thursday Night Football (8:20, Fox) matchup with the Falcons (4-5 overall, 1-3 home). Atlanta had been playing alright until they got smoked 43-3 this afternoon in Dallas (7-2). Did I mention that they have another rookie head coach-the immortal Arthur Smith-for Belchick to beat up on? So yeah, as always anything can happen in the NFL (as proven every week in this crazy year) but you have to like the Patriots' chances to keep their win streak rolling.

The Patriots Actually Hung Around With The Chiefs Way Longer Than Expected But Still Lost 26-10

 

    Once word came over on Saturday morning that Cam Newton had Covid-19 and he would miss the much-anticipated early season showdown against the Chiefs (4-0), a tall task turned into an impossible one. Let's be clear here: nobody in the world expected the Patriots (2-2) to compete with the defending Super Bowl champions so I suppose they should be proud of their effort under really tough circumstances: no Newton, the game moved to Monday night and they flew to KC this morning. Still, the NFL is not a participation trophy type of league and football isn't that kind of sport for that matter so the bottom line is that the Chiefs won 26-10 this evening at Arrowhead Stadium. 

    Brian Hoyer (15-of-24 for 130 yards, 1 INT, 59.4 QB rating) got the fluke start for the Pats but he didn't finish the outing as Jarrett Stidham (5-of-13 for 60 yards, 1st NFL TD pass, 2 INTs, 39.4 QB rating) took over in the third quarter and went the rest of the way. If Cam didn't have the Coronavirus, Hoyer honestly could be cut tomorrow and I don't think anyone would bat an eye. He came in with 10 straight losses in games that he'd started so it makes you wonder, how is he still in the NFL?  This should have been Stidham's first career NFL start but after a rough training camp complete with a mysterious hip injury, he was relegated to third-string quarterback duties-inactive the first three weeks. Thanks to the game getting pushed back a day, it will be a short week for the Patriots as they host the Broncos (1-3) on Sunday afternoon (4:25, CBS) and if Newton remains out, I'm calling it now: Stidham should/will start in his place. 

    The Patriots defense deserved better since they held one of the most explosive offenses in the league to just 19 points (KC's other touchdown was a pick-6 by Tyrann Mathieu) on their home turf with some fans (22%) in the stands. The best quarterback in the universe Patrick Mahomes (19-for-29, 236 yards, 2 TDs, 113.6 QB rating) looked mortal since both of his "touchdown passes" were 6-yard fancy handoffs to Tyreek Hill (4 catches, 64 yards) and Mecole Hardman. Kansas City's star tight end Travis Kelce (3 catches, 70 yards) still has never recorded 100+ receiving yards vs. the Patriots which is amazing and New England held explosive rookie running back Clyde Edwards-Helaire to under 100 total yards (64 rushing, 27 receiving). The Pats lost from self-inflicted wounds that resulted in three more turnovers (4-1).

    There were three plays in particular that will give Pats head coach Bill Belichick nightmares for weeks: a possible Mahomes fumble in the second quarter was incorrectly whistled dead for a sack, Hoyer got sacked on the last play of the first half which blew a chance at a tying field goal for New England and Stidham's pick-6 clanged off of Julian Edelman's (3 catches on 6 targets for 35 yards) usually money hands. It was such a bizarre set of circumstances leading up to this postponed contest so I feel like once the Chiefs saw that Cam was out, they figured this was a lock and who could blame them? That's why I wouldn't take too much out of this result which was closer than the final score would indicate. 

    There were some positives for the Patriots, thankfully the trip was not a complete waste of their collective time (haha easy for me to say sitting in the comfort of my own living room while I write this). Their red zone defense was great in the first half as they held Kansas City to a pair of Harrison Butker field goals (from 23 yards and 39 yards) and they forced a fumble by Sammy Watkins that was recovered by J.C. Jackson (who later should have had an interception). You knew that to have any chance to be competitive, they needed to run the ball well and they piled up nearly 200 rushing yards: with Sony Michel placed on IR (quad) earlier in the day, Damien Harris (17 carries, 100 yards) had his first career 100-yard performance in the NFL and James White (38 yards receiving and 21 yards rushing) returned to action after missing the last two games following his father's tragic death in a car accident. Wide receiver Damiere Byrd (5 catches, 80 yards) had his second solid game as a Patriot and Chase Winovich (2 solo tackles, 2 assists) notched a sack for the third straight game. 

    The Patriots got on the board with a 43-yard field goal by Nick Folk in the second quarter. It should have been at least tied 6-6 at halftime but Hoyer gonna Hoyer. With that in mind, he blew another rare red zone opportunity for the Pats by fumbling away the ball in the third quarter which led to Belichick finally benching him. Kansas City took advantage by turning that mistake into seven points on Hill's touchdown late in the third quarter which gave the home team a 13-3 lead. We saw a brief glimpse of what got all the beat writers in a lather about Stidham this summer when he tossed a perfect 4-yard fade in the corner of the end zone to N'Keal Harry. The Chiefs answered that score with a touchdown of their own-Hardman's-but Butker missed the PAT so it was 19-10. It was game over one play later though as Mathieu took Edelman's baffling drop 25 yards for the clinching touchdown. 

    It is useless predicting anything in 2020 but I can guarantee that this week leading up to what should be a layup against the terrible Broncos will be full of intrigue over A) Cam's availability or B) who will start if he remains sidelined. Denver just got their first win of the season on Thursday night 37-28 at the hapless Jets (0-4). They've had plenty of quarterback issues of their own as starter Drew Lock is out with a shoulder injury, backup Jeff Driskel already got the hook and third-string undrafted rookie Brett Rypien of course was the one to start and beat the Jets. Linebacker Von Miller and wide receiver Courtland Sutton-their two best players-are out for the season with injuries and their head coach is the immortal Vic Fangio. Week 6 is New England's bye week so given the weak opponent and with time to regroup on the horizon, this is a game they have to win no matter which quarterback gets the nod. Plus not for nothing but Buffalo (4-0) is two games up on second-place New England as the Patriots bid for their 12th straight AFC East title looks to be a legitimate battle for once.  

      

       

       

    

    

    

Cam Newton Tests Positive For Covid-19, Pats-Chiefs Gets Postponed To Monday Night At 7:05

 

    At this point in 2020, I hesitate to say that we should always expect the worst but at least while the global pandemic seems to be coming back in a major way (the dreaded seconded wave that was correctly predicted for the fall), you can never get too comfortable. In a true white guy activity on a beautiful October morning in Massachusetts, I was at an apple orchard today when my phone started to blow up with news notifications and texts from some of my buddies with the news that Patriots quarterback Cam Newton had tested positive for the Coronavirus. Of course he did, this came two days after President Orange Man I mean Trump also came down with the dreaded Covid-19. What a world. 

    That's the first and hopefully last time I ever bring up politics on this blog so the relevant point when it comes to the Pats (2-1) is that their scheduled game tomorrow afternoon (4:25, CBS) in Kansas City (3-0) was postponed to Monday night (7:05, CBS) assuming that more Patriots or Chiefs don't also test positive on Monday morning. Meanwhile if the tests go well, New England still has to fly to Kansas City the day of a game which is basically unheard of but I digress. The good news for the team is that unlike the Titans (3-0) who have suffered a major outbreak with eight players and eight coaches/support staff testing positive for the Coronavirus, no other Patriots have reportedly come down with it after Cam did. It seems silly to even talk about football in a time like this but if and when the Pats-Chiefs game happens anytime soon, backup quarterback Brian Hoyer will get the spot start for New England. PS whatever happened to Pats legend Jarrett Stidham?

    In many ways, we all should have known that something like this was inevitable given the NFL's reluctance to play in a bubble which has been a flawless idea for the NHL, NBA and WNBA playoffs. There are so many players on every NFL team not to mention all the coaches, trainers and other personnel that to assume that each of those people is doing the right thing in terms of wearing a mask, social distancing, washing their hands for 20 seconds, etc. is insane. Oh and they still go home every night to numerous other family, friends, hookers, etc. and who knows what they have been up to. 

    Bottom line, as has been the case during this entire nightmare, there is only one simple solution for getting past all of this: observe all the CDC guidelines, don't gather in large groups and please take this seriously every day. I can't comprehend how some people still aren't doing what they can to slow this all down. Good grief, how much more tangible evidence do you need? Get well soon Cam and stay safe everybody!

    

    

Pats Don't Let The World Ending Stop Them From Breaking Social Media By Signing Cam Newton

I haven't written anything on here for over a month since A) you probably didn't know this but there hasn't been any professional team sports in America from mid-March until yesterday (when the NWSL-National Women's Soccer League-kicked off their tournament in Utah) during the global pandemic and B) there really hasn't been anything worthy of a post for way too long. Thankfully, we all got a bit of respite from our collective misery as the news broke tonight that the Patriots have signed Cam Newton to a one-year deal worth a little over a million dollars (veteran's minimum) that with incentives can reach a maximum $7.5 million dollars.

If for nothing else, this was a taste of the good old days for Pats fans. You know, when talented but troubled (Randy Moss, Corey Dillon, Rodney Harrison, Darrelle Revis, etc) veterans came here and revitalized their careers through a combination of winning and Bill Belichick doing his best to gloss over all their flaws. Lately when we think of New England, we have night terrors of Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski choosing to go to the Buccaneers which will never sound right while we had to grudgingly accept that the dynasty was finally over after all those unforgettable years.

Don't get it twisted though, I'm not a Cam Newton fan at all. I think that he is undoubtedly one of the biggest bozos in sports. I can't even pretend that he has much left since coming off of two shoulder injuries and a foot injury, he only appeared in two games last season for the Panthers and was unceremoniously released by the only team that he's ever played for in the NFL after being drafted No. 1 overall out of Auburn in 2011. That surprising move happened at the beginning of the coronavirus outbreak in America but it might as well have been 20 years ago given how the last few months have aged us all in dog years.

Hell, I'm not even convinced (who could be?) that there will be an NFL season this fall and winter. Still, this was a classic Belichick move because there is basically no risk to him or the team while the possibility of a huge reward from an ultra-motivated former NFL MVP (in 2015) who led his team to the Super Bowl that season (where he of course epically choked). He's also a three-time Pro Bowler and he was once an All-Pro. The anointing of the completely unproven Jarrett Stidham as Brady's replacement has been laughable from both local and national media alike to the many Patriots fans who lost their objectivity three or four Super Bowl wins ago.

Conversely, this should motivate Stidham as well (and don't bother mentioning the definition of a backup QB Brian Hoyer) and show him that he'll have to work extremely hard to be the Patriots starting quarterback even if they are in full rebuilding mode. It is crazy that Newton was a free agent for three and a half months before the Pats finally gave him a job. I lost count of how many Newton to the Pats rumors, stories and odds from Vegas sportsbooks that I read during quarantine before like everyone else, I rightfully moved on and focused on more pertinent subjects like you know, the world coming apart at the seams due to this horrifying epidemic and all the protests around the globe following George Floyd's tragic death.

Assuming that he ever plays a snap for the Patriots (a big if given Belichick's tendency to trade or release just about anyone in training camp), Cam will make this team way more interesting to follow. Who knows anything about Stidham or moreover, enough to make you excited to see him with far too much responsibility heaped on him in only the second year of his NFL career. Newton's press conferences are always must-see for his one-of-a-kind questionable fashion choices plus his absolutely mercurial interview style. Most importantly, you can bet that if he has any pride-or common sense-left, he will understand that this is his last/best chance to get his NFL journey back untracked. Success here would no doubt make him a star once again and not just a punch line or hey whatever happened to him type story? If he wants to be a top player in the NFL once again, the greatest head coach in the league's history and one of the best run franchises in American sports will surely find a way to get the most out of him no matter if he is here for a single season or five.

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Every Year At Cutdown Day, We're Reminded That The NFL Is The Coldest Sport Of Them All

At this point, basically nothing surprises me when it comes to the Patriots trimming their roster down to 53 players before the start of every regular season.

Still, even though we all saw Dan Koppen's release coming (he has nothing left), Brian Hoyer getting let go was a surprise and saying goodbye to Deion Branch was borderline shocking. Additionally, Jeff Demps was placed on IR and he's not on the 53-man roster which means he can't return this season under the new rule.

First things first, with Koppen and Branch gone, now Tom Brady is the only Patriot left who started for them in Super Bowl XXXVIII and XXXIX (pours out Sam Adams in the gutter). Clearly Branch had lost a step or two the last few seasons but I think we all figured that after the Pats let Jabar Gaffney and Donte' Stallworth walk earlier this preseason, that he had won the No. 3 wide receiver spot. Turns out, that position is basically irrelevant since Julian Edelman will fill it followed by Matthew Slater.

There is always the chance that Gaffney or Branch could return later in the season since New England wouldn't have to pay them as much or God forbid Wes Welker, Brandon Lloyd, Edelman, etc get hurt.

Seeing Hoyer leave isn't a big deal in itself, he is at best average but it means at least for now that Ryan Mallett is Brady's backup quarterback. Gulp. Have you seen Ryan Mallett play football? He looked woefully overmatched in preseason games against scrubs.

Speaking of nobodies, these are the rest of the players released by the Patriots to get to 53: safety Sergio Brown, guard Derek Dennis, receiver Jeremy Ebert, receiver Jesse Holley, fullback Eric Kettani, safety James Ihedigbo, offensive lineman Matt Kopa, linebacker Niko Koutouvides, linebacker Aaron Lavarias, defensive back Derrick Martin, tight end Alex Silvestro, linebacker Jeff Tarpinian, receiver Kerry Taylor, tight end Tyler Urban, offensive lineman Dustin Waldron, guard Jeremiah Warren, offensive tackle Darrion Weems and defensive back Malcolm Williams.

New England is actually down to 52 players so expect them to make at least one roster move and claim someone off waivers that was released by another NFL team.

Almost all of those guys are what I would describe as August heroes, they got a majority of the time in preseason games but you'd be in big trouble if they actually had to see the field in the regular season. Of that list, Ihedigbo is probably the biggest name since he played 67% of the defensive snaps in 2011, not to mention plenty of special teams. Here's hoping the UMass product and Northampton native finds a new NFL home. He proved that he can definitely play in the league.

UPDATE 9/1: Patriots defensive back Ross Ventrone received an injury settlement and was released from injured reserve on Friday, a source confirmed.

Since the injury settlement occurred within five days of being placed on injured reserve, Ventrone is eligible to return to New England later this season.

Ventrone can return six weeks after the length of his injury settlement, which was unspecified.

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The Only Thing Notable On Thursday Night At Gillette: Dane Fletcher Tore His Left ACL

Like every other red-blooded American, I know that the NFL is king and I am thrilled that the regular season starts in one month. However, stories from training camp and viewing preseason games is about as interesting to me as watching paint dry then talking about it for weeks on end.

New England opened its 2012 preseason tonight at Gillette Stadium against New Orleans and though the Patriots won 7-6, that's the furthest thing from my mind. The only thing I will takeaway from this exhibition is that linebacker Dane Fletcher is likely done for the season after reportedly tearing his left ACL.

He got hurt playing special teams so if he misses 2012, that means that Bobby Carpenter, Jeff Tarpinian and Mike Rivera all have a better shot of making the 53-man roster. Fletcher is entering his third season and he would have been a valuable reserve since he can play middle linebacker (where he started tonight) and special teams. Still, he had 32 tackles last season in 10 games (5 starts) so he's certainly replaceable. I'm not ripping the guy at all but if he's the biggest injury the Patriots suffer in the preseason, that's great news.

The other guy banged up in the game was wide receiver Britt Davis, who caught a 3-yard touchdown from Brian Hoyer in the third quarter. Late in the fourth quarter, he appeared to hurt his shoulder after a Saints defender fell on it after tackling him to the ground. There is basically no shot that he will make the team so this has no impact whatsoever. Still, I hope he's alright.

Bill Belichick has already given the team tomorrow and Saturday off since they don't play again until Monday, August 20 vs. Philadelphia. That game is back at Gillette and it is the second of four preseason games. Ugh, the real games can't come soon enough. Preseason football is terrible to watch with all the scrubs doing what they do (not much) on the field.

UPDATE 8/13: Ouch, both Fletcher and Davis were waived today by the Patriots.

UPDATE 8/14: Fletcher cleared waivers so he went back to the Pats who put him on IR.

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Deion Branch Sticks Around For What Should Be Another Fun Year In Foxborough

Well I'm no NFL agent but I'm pretty sure the negotiations between Deion Branch's agent and the New England Patriots probably took a grand total of 10 seconds this off-season.

The team confirmed something today that many expected since the Super Bowl ended: Branch will be back for another season with the Pats. He signed a one-year deal which keeps him with the team that has re-energized his career.

Yes he has slowed down but there's something to be said for the inane connection that he still shares with Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. Last season, his first full one back in New England, was a solid one for Branch: 51 catches, 702 yards, 5 touchdowns as the team's No. 2 receiver.

He will probably never be a 1000-yard receiver again in his career but then again, his game was never about numbers. He is still absurdly clutch and his hands are still there. With the addition of Brandon Lloyd and hopefully the return of Wes Welker (who was franchised), Branch should slide into the more comfortable spot as No. 3 receiver. When you have Rob Gronkowski, Aaron Hernandez, Wes Welker and Brandon Lloyd, Branch is a pretty nice fifth option.

Branch is one of the most beloved Patriots from his era and I doubt that he'll leave Foxborough again before his career ends. He deserves to end it here and then have his number retired at Gillette Stadium. A true pro, a good dude and a great teammate, basically all you can ask for in a football player. Deion is the man and I'm psyched that he's not going anywhere; he has earned another shot with Brady and Belichick.

UPDATE 3/22: The Patriots also agreed to a two-year deal with fullback/linebacker Spencer Larsen. You read that right, he plays both of those positions, hence why New England must have coveted him for his versatility.

UPDATE 3/23: Backup quarterback Brian Hoyer signed his restricted free-agent tender with the Patriots today. He was tendered at the second-round level ($1.9 million). This was expected, it's noteworthy because he now counts on the 80-man roster (whereas he didn't before).

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2012 NFL Free Agency Begins Or So I've Heard

The new calendar year for the NFL officially began at 4 p.m. this afternoon, meaning that free agency opened.

For New England Patriots fans, this day is strange. You watch so many teams around the league make big splashes but the Pats rarely spend a whole lot in free agency or acquiring marquee names. They much prefer to draft and develop guys or find castoffs that they turn into valuable players.

So while Vincent Jackson was getting paid in Tampa Bay, Peyton Manning was traveling around the country and Brandon Marshall was traded from Miami to Chicago, the Patriots chose to lock up mostly depth players that don't get many headlines.

Backup quarterback Brian Hoyer received a second-round tender from New England. The $1.92 million tender means that any other team can sign him to an offer sheet. If the Patriots don't match it, they get a second-round pick.

Defensive lineman Kyle Love received an exclusive rights free-agent tender. Center Dan Koppen is headed to the open market in free agency although he could return to Foxboro. Linebacker Niko Koutouvides was signed to a one-year deal with a base salary of $825,000. Finally, Matthew Slater is expected to reach an agreement tomorrow.

Only Brandon Lloyd is left in terms of impact free agent wide receivers. Let's hope that the Pats can get something done with him soon and they don't lose out to a team like the 49ers (who's hosting him on a visit tomorrow). I would list other pipe dreams like Mario Williams but I fear there's no chance they'll land anybody in his range.

UPDATE 3/14: The Patriots resigned linebacker and special teams standout Tracy White, terms were not disclosed. They've also signed former Bengals defensive end Jonathan Fanene to a three-year contract worth $12 million which includes a $3.85 million signing bonus. I'm excited that the Pats addressed one of their biggest needs but honestly, I've never heard of this bum. Looks like another nobody that they'll try to squeeze something out of on short money. He had 6.5 sacks last season and six sacks in 2009. He's 29 years old, 6-4, 285 pounds and he's from American Samoa. You probably would recognize him from his long hair.

UPDATE 3/15: Today the Patriots resigned Slater and also came to terms with defensive lineman Marcus Harrison, who was on the team for one day (haha really) last season. New England also signed safety Steve Gregory to a three-year deal (averaging between $2 million and $3 million) and they resigned Dan Connolly to a new contract. Gregory was on the Chargers since entering the NFL as an undrafted rookie in 2006.

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Pats wrap up regular season with preseason type blowout full of scrubs making plays

Everywhere you looked yesterday at Gillette Stadium, it seemed like August. The temperatures were mild, the sun was out, the crowd was full of schmoes that never go to Patriots games and most interestingly, backups, reserves, never-weres and never will bes were making highlight reel plays.

The New England Patriots wrapped up their 2010 regular season with one more beating, 38-7 over the quarterback-less Miami Dolphins.

The Pats (14-2) let Tom Brady (10 of 16, 199 yards, 2 touchdowns, 0 interceptions) play enough to boost his MVP candidacy to the point where if you don't vote for him, you're a joke. Once again, he didn't throw an interception, extending his NFL record and he also clinched or extended a million other streaks that I'm too lazy to look up again.

Perhaps the most satisfying development out of yesterday's glorified exhibition game was the fact that BenJarvus Green-Ellis carried the ball 20 times for 80 yards and a touchdown. That got him over 1000 yards for the season (1008) and made him the first New England running back to get over the century mark since Corey Dillon in 2004 (it's crazy it's been that long but then you remember how long we tried to squeeze Chicken Salad out of Chicken Shit - Laurence Maroney).

The other unsung guy that you had to feel good for was Julian Edelman. The king of preseason, who was a high fantasy draft pick for know it all Patriots fanboys, finally came through with a nice game in the 2010 regular season. He had three catches for 72 yards, including a sweet 40-yard gain. He also took a reverse 13 yards and most impressively, broke a team record with a 94-yard punt return for a score.

Wes Welker, Deion Branch and Aaron Hernandez all sat out which makes you wonder how badly New England would have beat the already-on-vacation Dolphins (7-9) if those studs suited up.

Everyone else on the Patriots added to their great individual seasons: rookies Devin McCourty (seventh INT) and Rob Gronkowski (6 catches, 102 yards, 1 touchdown) continued to show why they are two of New England's best draft picks possibly ever.

Finally, Brian Hoyer (the most anonymous pro athlete in New England) got his first NFL touchdown pass and actually looked pretty decent: 7 of 13 for 122 yards. A beautiful 42-yard toss to Brandon Tate. The always tricky Bill Belichick changed it up by having Hoyer go in for Brady in the middle of a drive, simulating what would happen if Brady gets hurt in a game.

From here we have almost two weeks without a playoff game. As the No. 1 seed in the AFC, the Patriots will play either the Jets, Chiefs or Ravens on Sunday, January 16, 4:30 p.m. at Gillette Stadium.

New England earned everything that comes with this extended break, they had an unbelievable regular season which is all well and good but as Coach Hoodie remarked today: "yesterday we were 14-2, today we're 0-0."

It's Super Bowl 45 (in Dallas) or bust for this outstanding team and coach.

A circle jerk in Foxboro

One of the main reasons that ESPN and most mainstream sports media these days is a joke is that they make snap decisions after one game or a very small sample size.

No doubt, after yesterday's 59-0 win over the Titans at snowy Gillette Stadium, most Patriots fans as well as pundits will be quick to say Tom Brady and the Pats are back.

To quote the esteemed Lee Corso, head college football bozo on Gameday, "not so fast my friend." So while yes, the events of yesterday's contest were quite pleasing, let's keep in mind what a perfect storm of shit the Titans faced: coming in 0-5 (their season was already over), there was an unexpected snowstorm, on the road against an offense and team looking to breakout and playing without three of its top guys in the secondary.

Only later in the season will we be able to say if this game was a blip (like last season's thrashing of Arizona in somewhat similar circumstances) or a positive sign of things to come from Brady (380 yards, 6 TDs), Wes Welker (10 catches, 150 yards, 2 TDs) and Randy Moss (8 catches, 129 yards, 3 touchdowns).

Recapping the play by play of this one would be pointless. I'll just talk about the New England scores and some other random thoughts.

After Sammy Morris got hurt in the first quarter (with what looked like a knee injury), Laurence Maroney subbed in and had a big game with 16 carries for 123 yards and a touchdown. Second year back BenJarvus Green-Ellis had his first playing time of the year and he looked good, rushing for 67 yards and making two catches for 11 yards.

After Stephen Gostkowski missed a 39-yard kick, Maroney opened the scoring with a 45-yard run. Gostkowski hit a 33-yard kick as the Pats (4-2) led 10-0 after the first quarter.

The second quarter was something we'll never see again in our lifetimes. Brady set an NFL record with five touchdown passes in those 15 minutes.

He started it with his two best passes of the season: a 40-yard flea flicker to Moss then a 28-yard pass to Moss in the back of the end zone when Brady was about to be drilled.

Kevin Faulk turned a screen pass into a 38-yard touchdown then Wes Welker got his two touchdowns: from 30 and five yards.

The only real intrigue after the half (the biggest deficit in NFL history) was how much longer Brady would play (one series) and if the Pats would get the shutout (since I was facing them in fantasy football).

Brady's day was done after a 9-yard touchdown pass to Moss. Rookie backup quarterback Brian Hoyer got his first NFL action and made it memorable by scoring on a 1-yard QB sneak for the final mark.

Poor Chris Johnson had 128 yards rushing for the Titans (0-6) but Kerry Collins (2 for 12, -7 yards, fumble, interception) and Vince Young (0 for 2, interception) looked like they'd never played football before or seen snow. Collins must have fallen off the wagon yesterday because no sober NFL quarterback could play that bad. As for VY, he continues to rapidly regress as he only worries about partying shirtless in clubs.

Patriots rookie cornerback Darius Bulter had his first NFL interception and so did rookie safety Patrick Chung. In addition, New England's defense recovered three fumbles.

I thought Arizona's turd salad was the worst performance I'd ever see in the NFL but in less than a year, that was topped. It's hard to imagine any loss being worse than yesterday.

Next on the schedule, New England and Tampa Bay (0-6) meet in London on Sunday for another stupid NFL in the UK matchup. Earth to Roger Goddell: nobody in the UK gives a shit about American football. Never have, never will. Time to move on from this stupid experiment.

The Pats shouldn't have any trouble with the hapless Bucs and they'll cruise into their bye week at 5-2. Some other good news coming from yesterday was that the Jets continue to fall apart as they lost to Buffalo in overtime. It was a pathetic loss that dropped the Jets to 3-3, losers of three straight. Your New England Patriots now rest atop the AFC East.