"The ship be sinking!"-Charles Barkley

Much of what makes sports so great is the unexpected. Still, it's also hilarious when a playoff series goes exactly as anyone would have predicted.

The Orlando Magic-Boston Celtics Eastern Conference semifinal series has been the latter.

The Celts played awful for 3.5 quarters last night at the Garden and still won 92-88 to win Game 5 and take a 3-2 lead in the series. Boston can close it out tomorrow night back in Orlando.

Orlando was up 14 points with eight minutes and change left in the game. Ten points with five minutes left. It didn't matter, that team is tissue paper soft. Their style of play is not conducive to success in the playoffs and after last night's game, they were all pointing fingers at each other which prompted Sir Charles' spectacular line (above).

Big Baby continued to play the best basketball of his life. He had a game-high 22 points and seven rebounds. Paul Pierce added 19 points, nine rebounds and eight assists. Ray Allen (13 points) continued to struggle but in typical fashion, he made a huge shot: a 3-pointer late in the fourth that gave Boston its first lead since 8-6.

The Celts' young guys did not play well. Kendrick Perkins had six points and 11 rebounds while Rajon Rondo was held to six points, nine rebounds and five assists.

Other than the comeback, the story of the game was Stephon Marbury. He had 12 points (all in the fourth quarter) as he gave his team a huge lift when it needed it most.

Orlando got 19 points from Rashard Lewis and 12 points and 17 boards from Dwight Howard. Hedo Turkoglu added 18 points and seven assists while Rafer Alston notched 16 points and six assists but he missed a late 3-pointer that would have been vital.

The biggest number to point to for the Celtics was their perfect night at the free throw line: 21 for 21. The Magic were just 10 for 12 as they continued to settle for jumpers (6 of 24 on threes).

Like the Bruins, the Celtics have all the momentum in this series and I expect them to win tomorrow night in Orlando. Granted, the margin of error is razor-thin for this group and they never seem to make it easy on themselves but they broke Orlando's will last night. You can't overlook that fact.

Get that weak shit outta here Chicago

Maybe the Bulls shot their load (too soon) in games 1 and 2? At least that's what Ron Jeremy and the porn-minded NBA fans will be thinking for the next few days after Boston embarrassed Chicago, 107-86 in Game 3 last night at the United Center.

The road win was big for the C's as it nullified their terrible performance in Game 1 and gave them back the homecourt advantage.

Paul Pierce stepped up after two sub-par (for him) performances. The Truth hit his first six shots of the night en-route to a game-high 24 points. Best of all, he only played 28 minutes in the blowout so he'll be fresh for Game 4 on Sunday.

Rajon Rondo continued to be the best player on the court as he submitted 20 points, 11 rebounds, six assists and five steals. Ray Allen added 18 points and Big Baby Glen Davis had a fine all-around game: 14 points, nine rebounds, six assists, six steals and three blocks.

Perhaps the most impressive part of this contest was Stephon Marbury, who had his best game in a Celtics uniform. The head-tatooed one had 13 points, five assists and zero turnovers.

The Bulls looked like the team that went 41-41 in the regular season. Ben Gordon led the way with 15 points but he was nothing like the guy in Game 2. Kirk Hinrich and John Salmons both scored 14 points. After collecting the Rookie of the Year trophy, Derrick Rose was a non-factor for the second straight game. Rose had nine points and seven turnovers as the Celts have started to figure him out while Rondo is running circles around the entire team.

The vaunted Celtics defense (which led the NBA in opponents field goal percentage) held Chicago to 37.5% shooting while they made 48.1%. Boston made 12-of-21 3-pointers and the Bulls missed 10 free throws (17-of-27). Boston had nine more assists (23-14), 11 more steals (16-5) and six more blocks (10-4). In short, they looked like the polished, experienced veteran team while Chicago couldn't get out of its own way.

I would term Sunday a must-win for Chicago. If they go down 3-1 to Boston, it's over. End of story.

Would noted moron Stephon Marbury help the C's?

Yesterday was not a good time to be one of the top three teams in the Eastern Conference.

The Boston Celtics, Cleveland Cavaliers and Orlando Magic all lost-something which won't happen often on the same day for the rest of this season.

The Celts (29-6) lost for the fourth time in their last six games, this time submitting a flat 100-88 loss at Madison Square Garden to the improved but still mostly shitty New York Knicks (13-19).

Paul Pierce (31 points, 7 rebounds) did his best to keep his team in the game but he wasn't getting much help. Ray Allen (16 points) was the only other Celtic in double-figures. Kevin Garnett (6 points, 9 rebounds, 5 blocks) was shaken up late in the third when Knicks forward David Lee (14 points, 14 rebounds) inadvertently kicked KG in the calf.

Wilson Chandler led the Knicks with 31 points and eight rebounds while Al Harrington added 30 points and seven boards. Chris Duhon notched 12 points and five assists.

With reports swirling the last few days that the Celtics are interested in acquiring malcontent Stephon Marbury, I have to say that my opinion is quickly changing. At first, I thought it was an awful idea but now that I think about it, maybe it could work. The C's would have nothing to lose and they could ditch Marbury as soon as he started banging interns in his car outside a Boston club. Haha, but seriously he could add some scoring punch to our bench which right now is a real weak point of an otherwise championship-caliber team.

The Charlotte Bobcats host the Celtics tomorrow night as the Green look to get back to playing the outstanding basketball of the season's first 29 games.

Isiah Thomas, starring in Portrait of a Lame Duck Coach

The media circus that is the New York Knicks came to Boston last night on a modest two-game win streak to play the Celtics on TNT. When it was all said and done, the Knicks (4-10) left the Garden with their tails between their legs after an embarrassing 104-59 loss. You read that correctly. In fact, it could have been a Knicks team record scoring low and record low for a Celtics opponent if not for a buzzer-beating three-pointer from Nate Robinson at the end of the game. The Knicks are a complete joke and it's amazing that Head Coach/GM/sexual harasser Isiah Thomas still has a job in NYC but after this disgraceful loss that might not be the case for much longer.

Paul Pierce (29 minutes), Ray Allen (29 minutes) and Kevin Garnett (23 minutes) benefited from the blowout as they had extended time on the bench which should come in handy as the Celtics (12-2) flew to Miami following the game. Pierce had 21 points, eight rebounds and four assists while Allen had 21 points and five rebounds. Eddie House had 15 points, Glen Davis added 13 points and six boards while Rajon Rondo had 10 points and seven assists. Garnett finished his abbreviated game with eight points, 11 boards, four assists and two blocks. It broke his 67 game streak of scoring in double figures but he probably doesn't care.

This one got out of hand quickly as the Celts jumped out to a 27-16 lead after one. The lead ballooned to 23 at the half and as much as 52 points in the second half. The numbers were as one-sided as you'll ever see in an NBA game. Boston shot 46.8% while New York shot 30.3%. The Celts held the rebound lead, 51-35 and had 15 more assists (27-12). Boston only committed nine turnovers and New York had 15.

The Knicks are the epitome of the professional team that has individual talent but cannot consistently put anything close to a good product on the floor. The main reason is that Stephon Marbury (2 of 6), Quentin Richardson (3 of 12), Eddy Curry (2 of 11) and Zach Randolph (1 of 10) among others are me-first guys. They'll always take the shot themselves over passing to a more open teammate. They're all team cancers (led by Starbury) and that is only magnified by having the laughable Thomas leading them.

Boston plays Miami tonight in another primetime game (this one's on ESPN). The C's held off Miami two weeks ago at the Garden so we'll see how they do in the rematch. The Heat (4-10) are at the bottom of the Southeast Division and they probably won't catch the Magic this year.