I'll Permit 1 Win Every 10 Games for the Celtics

If I had my way, the Celtics would lose every game for the rest of this pointless season. Unfortunately, that's not how it works. They are bound to stumble into a win at least every once in a while. Like tonight for instance, Boston (14-26 overall, 9-11 home) snapped its nine-game losing streak with a 88-83 win over Toronto (19-18 overall, 10-10 away) at TD Garden.

The Raptors had actually been playing very well (12-4) since they shipped Rudy Gay to hell, I mean Sacramento. Still, what does it tell you about the Atlantic Division and the Eastern Conference in general that the train wreck Celts could handle them?

Jared Sullinger was the star for Boston, he had a game-high 25 points, career-high 20 rebounds and two steals (his first 20-20 game and first for a Celtic since Kevin Garnett's debut in Boston-November 2007). Any rebuilding project with the C's should involve Sullinger. His style isn't pretty but damn if it isn't effective. Unlike many of the jokers that come in the NBA too early, he knows how to play. He's not going to be a Hall of Famer due to his limited athleticism but that doesn't mean he can't be an All-Star someday.

In a brief cameo with Rajon Rondo ready to be unleashed on Friday vs. Lakers, Phil Pressey made his first NBA start a good one with 10 assists and zero turnovers. Avery Bradley had 20 points, five rebounds and two steals; Jeff Green added 13 points and five rebounds while Kris Humphries also made the most of his rare start with 12 points and eight rebounds.

DeMar DeRozan led Toronto with 23 points and eight rebounds. Without Gay, he desperately needs more help around him. No offense Kyle Lowry (18 points, 12 assists, 7 rebounds). 90-year-old John Salmons was the only other Raptor in double-figures with 13 points off the bench.

Trailing 73-56 entering the fourth quarter, this had no business being a game but Boston is physically incapable of closing out any team. Toronto made it a three-point game a couple times but they couldn't get any closer than that.

This oughta make Tommy Heinsohn happy: Boston shot 11 more free throws (36-25) and hit 14 more (26-12) than bricklaying Toronto. Thanks to Sullinger's dominance, the Celtics grabbed 14 more rebounds (58-44) as a team. The C's also had seven more fast break points (13-6), eight more points in the paint (32-24) and eight more points off turnovers (15-7).

I can't recall a less anticipated Celtics-Lakers (14-25 overall, 5th in Pacific Division) than the one on Friday (7:30, CSN) at the Garden. However, with Rondo's expected return, there at least is a valid reason to tune in for a few minutes. Who knows what to expect from him basically a year removed from tearing his ACL?

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Celtics Lose For the 10th Time in Their Last 11 Games, A Heartbreaker to the Warriors

When the highlight video is put together from the lottery-bound 2013-14 season, I hope the Celtics include some clips from tonight's 99-97 loss to the Warriors at ORACLE (all caps?) Arena. This was a game that Boston (13-24 overall, 5-14 away) had no business being in, let alone almost winning. Thankfully, Golden State (25-14 overall, 12-4 home) came to their senses long enough for Stephen Curry (19 points, 7 rebounds) to hit the go-ahead 3-pointer w/2.1 seconds left. Gerald Wallace is no Curry so obviously his 3-pointer at the buzzer had no chance.

Boston was a 12-point underdog and Golden State is seen a darkhorse contender in the Western Conference. This fell into the classic NBA trap game category since the Warriors were coming off a long road trip on the East Coast and who can take the Celtics seriously? Now Boston has lost 10 of their last 11 games to achieve the fifth worst record in the NBA. Don't stop until you get to the bottom fellas!

Jeff Green had a game-high 24 points and 11 rebounds. Jared Sullinger had a double-double off the bench with 21 points and 11 rebounds. Kris Humphries (16 points, 14 points, 3 blocks, 2 steals) put together maybe his best game in Green and White (trade him immediately!) while Jordan Crawford added 10 points and seven assists.

Golden State is one of the few teams in the NBA that I always watch if they are on TV. Curry and Klay Thompson (17 points) aka the Splash Brothers are awesome, probably the two best shooters in the league, and they have some other nice pieces like Andre Iguodala (22 points, 7 assists, 5 rebounds, 3 steals), David Lee (16 points, 7 rebounds) and Andrew Bogut (13 rebounds). Celtics killer/journeyman Marreese Speights had 13 points in 13 minutes. Maybe the C's can acquire him like they did with Jerryd Bayless earlier this week.

I kept waiting for the Warriors to pull away/the Celtics to fall apart like they usually do but it never materialized. Golden State led 24-21 after the first quarter but trailed 49-47 at halftime. The Warriors put together a nice third quarter (25-18) but needed Curry's usual heroics to get it done in a shaky fourth (outscored 30-27).

Here's a bizarre stat: Boston had eight blocks while Golden State had none. The C's go for the rare 0-5 road trip tomorrow night (10, CSN) in Portland (27-9, 1st in Northwest Division). After hanging with the Warriors, there is no chance in a back-to-back (and final game of a week-long trip) that the Celts can do that again versus one of the best teams in the NBA.

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Kyrie Irving Must Be Counting the Days Until He Can Get out of Hell, I mean Cleveland

The less said about the pile of monkey shit known as the Cavaliers the better. The Celtics had another forgettable Saturday afternoon game at TD Garden and this time, they made it a positive memory with a 103-100 win over Cleveland. In typical Celts (13-17 overall, 8-8 home) fashion, it became way more difficult than it had to be: they were up 19 heading into the fourth quarter but had to hang on for dear life as the Cavaliers (10-19 overall, 2-13 away) outscored them 34-18 in the final frame.

Luckily for Boston, they have that defensive force aka Brandon Bass (15 points, 6 rebounds, 2 blocks) who stuffed Dion Waiters (17 points, 2 steals) on Cleveland's last official shot. Of course, the Cavs had a chance to tie it after that but Earl Clark's (12 points) 3-pointer was an airball, oh and it came after time expired. Other than that, great attempt Earl.

As always, Kyrie Irving (game-high 32 points) was brilliant while his teammates were mediocre at best. Clark was the only other starter in double figures and Jarrett Jack put up 14 points off the bench.

It was all about balance for the C's with four starters and two bench players in double figures. Jordan Crawford (5 rebounds, 5 assists) and Jeff Green (8 rebounds, 2 steals) both led Boston with 19 points while Avery Bradley added 18 points, eight rebounds and two steals. Courtney Lee scored 11 and Kris Humphries notched 10 points off the bench.

The Celtics slowly built up their lead, 24-22 after one quarter, 59-44 at halftime and 85-66 heading into the fourth. Does Boston play night games anymore? Their next contest is another afternoon game at TD Garden: New Year's Eve (1, CSN) vs. Atlanta (17-13, 2nd in Southeast Division), who just lost Al Horford for the season with a torn pectoral muscle.

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You Can't Stop The Celtics, You Can Only Hope to Contain Them

You know things are going well for the Celtics when Kris Humphries comes out of mothballs and off the bench to score a season-high 18 points with seven rebounds as Boston (9-12 overall, 5-5 home) beat Denver (11-8 overall, 5-6 away) 106-98 tonight at TD Garden. They maintained their spot atop the woeful Atlantic Division where nobody is even close to .500. Woo!

The Celtics have beaten up on some really bad teams so far this season but haven't notched many wins against playoff-caliber opponents. Tonight qualifies as a solid victory since even if the Nuggets don't make the postseason in the far superior Western Conference, they are a good team.

Of course, it helps when the C's are spotted a 14-0 lead right off the bat. Boston led from start to finish, by as much as 27 (42-15 early second quarter) and as little as three (76-73 late third quarter). Jordan Crawford (game-high 22 points, 8 assists) is playing the best basketball of his strange career. Avery Bradley had 18 points as well, Jeff Green scored 15 and Brandon Bass added 14 points, eight rebounds and three blocks.

Ty Lawson paced Denver with 20 points. J.J. Hickson had 17 points and seven rebounds, Randy Foye scored 12 points while former Celtic Nate Robinson (11 points), 90-year-old Andre Miller (10 points) and Timofey (that's really how it's spelled) Mozgov (10 points, 6 rebounds) all had double-figures off the bench.

In their best quarter of the season, Boston outscored Denver 39-14 in the first which was enough to carry them to another improbable victory. The Nuggets outscored the Celts 83-67 in the final three quarters.

The C's shot 7.6% better from the field (51.8-44.2), they dished out 14 more assists (25-11) and had five less turnovers (14-9) than the Nuggets.

Boston gets its first up close look at the car crashes better known as the Knicks (5-13, 4th in Atlantic Division) and Nets (5-14, 5th in Atlantic Division) over the next few days. They are in New York on Sunday afternoon (12, CSN)-that should get monster ratings going up against the NFL-and then they are in Brooklyn on Tuesday (7:30, CSN).

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Let The Tanking Begin! Pierce & Garnett Shipped To Nets For 5 Players & 3 Future First-Round Picks

The end of the Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett era with the Celtics officially came to a bizarre end tonight as both were shipped to Brooklyn in a blockbuster deal along with Jason Terry that totally overshadowed the mostly dull 2013 NBA Draft (in terms of possible star players in the future). The Nets will send in return Gerald Wallace, Kris Joseph (drafted by Boston last year), the expiring deal of Kris Humphries, Reggie Evans and Keith Bogans along with three first-round picks in 2014, 2016 and 2018.

Once Doc Rivers went to the Clippers earlier this week, you knew that this day was coming soon especially since Pierce was owed an option for next season by Sunday. Rivers, KG and Pierce would have preferred to stay together but the players wouldn't have been able to join the Clippers this season because of an obscure NBA rule so the Celts had to find a new suitor: enter the Nets who have money to burn and seats to fill at the Barclays Center. This makes Brooklyn-a playoff team last season-much more of a contender. They should win the Atlantic Division and home court at least in the first round of the playoffs when their new additions mesh with Deron Williams, Joe Johnson and Brook Lopez.

It will be strange to see both of these guys in Brooklyn, who just hired Jason Kidd to be their head coach. Pierce spent his entire career with the Celtics (since 1998!) and KG was here since 2007 but it felt like even longer. Both are locks to make the Basketball Hall of Fame in Springfield, MA. Boston has now fully committed to tanking next season (for Andrew Wiggins or Jabari Parker?) and they are basically guaranteed to be awful for a few seasons. Who can blame them though? Getting lottery picks (to use or trade) is the only way for the C's to rebuild since truth be told Boston is not a coveted destination for most quality free agents. Losing Doc meant they had less of a drawing card and now without KG and Pierce, expect plenty of empty seats at TD Garden in 2013-14.

You have to wonder if Boston's final step is to trade Rajon Rondo-the only player they have left with any real value. In some ways it's tough to see them centering the new look team around a guy that's such a pain in the ass and anything but a leader. Oh and they still don't have a head coach. Yeesh. We wish KG and Pierce well, their jerseys will be retired in the rafters someday soon and we'll always have the 2008 NBA title plus six playoff bids in all six seasons that they were teammates.

What do the next few years have in store for the Celtics (other than many losses)? Your guess is as good as mine at this puzzling moment.

UPDATE 6/28: Instead of Evans, former PC star MarShon Brooks (who was also originally drafted by Boston) was included in the package to the Celtics.

UPDATE 6/30: To create another roster spot and free up a little salary, the Celtics waived guard Terrence Williams.

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Rondo, Humphries & Wallace Ejected As Celtics & Nets "Fight" NBA Style

Tonight was one of those games where nobody will remember the final outcome but for reasons other than wins and losses, it was particularly memorable for an NBA regular season contest.

With 29 seconds left in a terrible first half (Boston trailed Brooklyn 51-35), Kevin Garnett (16 points, 10 rebounds) was fouled hard by Kris Humphries as he went to shoot. Rajon Rondo reacted by pushing Humphries into the crowd behind the basket as all hell broke loose, well as much as that can happen in an NBA game. Rondo, Humphries and Gerald Wallace were all ejected but it probably didn't matter since Brooklyn (10-4, 3-3 away) still rolled over Boston 8-7, 4-4 home) 95-83 at TD Garden.

There is little doubt that all three players, particularly Rondo since he started the whole mess, will likely face suspensions from the NBA. Brooklyn beat Boston for the second time in less than two weeks thanks to a great night from its bench: Andray Blatche (13 rebounds) and 38-year-old Jerry Stackhouse (five 3-pointers) both scored 17 points while C.J. Watson added 13 points.

Old friend Joe Johnson was the only Nets starter in double-figures with 18 points and six assists. Brook Lopez (9 points, 10 rebounds) and Deron Williams (8 points, 7 assists) were both held in check but it didn't matter since Brooklyn led from start to finish and Boston never really pushed them. It helped that the Nets hit nine more 3-pointers (10-1), grabbed 10 more rebounds (50-40), handed out seven more assists (21-14) and recorded five more steals (12-7).

Brandon Bass scored 16 points, Paul Pierce (14 points, 9 rebounds, 7 assists) wasn't that far off from a triple-double and Jason Terry scored 13. The Celtics needed more than usual from their bench with Rondo out but instead they were blitzed 52-18 by their Nets counterparts.

Celtics head coach Doc Rivers rightfully blasted his team after the game, calling them soft. Maybe that will inspire them to become more consistent and figure things out defensively. I assume that Rondo will appeal his suspension or it won't go into effect right away but you can bet that he is going to miss a chunk of games in the near future.

Boston hosts Portland (6-9) on Friday (7:30 p.m., CSN) at TD Garden. The Blazers should be in a great mood themselves since they lost to 0-12 Washington tonight (84-82).

UPDATE 11/29: Rondo was suspended two games so he will miss Portland tomorrow night and Milwaukee on Saturday night. Garnett was fined $25,000 for his actions but those are the only two punishments for Boston.

UPDATE 11/30: Forward Kris Joseph was called up from the Red Claws for tonight, meaning either Jeff Green (knee) or Chris Wilcox (illness) is out vs. Portland. We shall see.

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Without Rondo, The Celtics Put Up A Good FIght But Ultimately Lose 102-97 To The Nets

When word came over on Twitter tonight that Rajon Rondo would miss Boston's game in Brooklyn (due to his sprained ankle), that coupled with the fact that it was the second night of a back-to-back (a mortal enemy of the Celtics) made me think they would mail it in.

I have to give them credit, they fought way more than I expected but they still fell short as the Nets (5-2, 4-1 home) won their fourth straight game, 102-97 over the Celtics at Barclays Center. Boston saw their three-game win streak snapped.

Everybody has been high on Brooklyn coming into this season and for good reason, it looks like they might finally give the C's some competition in the usually terrible Atlantic Division. Deron Williams had 24 points and eight assists while Brook Lopez also put up 24 points along with six rebounds and four blocks. Former Celtic Joe Johnson had 19 points and eight rebounds while Kris Humphries notched 10 points and 13 rebounds.

Paul Pierce had 22 points and seven assists, Leandro Barbosa started at point guard and continued his strong play from last night with 17 points. This game was also notable since it was Courtney Lee's best one in a Celtics uniform (not that there were many to choose from): 13 points, nine rebounds and three steals off the bench. Jason Terry scored 10 points but Brandon Bass (8 points) and Jeff Green (5 points) were nowhere to be seen. I guess they stayed back in Boston.

The only reason the Celts had a chance to win is because of their excellent third quarter (29-15). Other than that, they were outscored 87-68 including 28-18 in the fourth quarter when predictably, their legs gave out. I can't explain how but Boston had 14 more fast break points (19-5) and 10 more points in the paint (46-36).

Boston is off tomorrow then has two more games this weekend as the Raptors (2-6) come to TD Garden on Saturday afternoon (12:30 p.m., CSN) then the C's head to Detroit (1-8) on Sunday (7:30 p.m, CSN). Playing four games in five days is certainly not preferable but everybody has a stretch like this at some point in the NBA season. Even without Rondo, the Celtics should be able to beat what are probably the two worst teams in the Eastern Conference. I'm sure I'll watch both games but could you think of a less appealing weekend?

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Kim Kardashian Cheats on Her Fiance With A Patriot...Naturally

From entertainmentwise.com

In Touch Weekly has reported that Kim had a secret phone-only relationship with New England patriots star Bret Lockett, whilst she was dating Kris! According to the mag, the relationship began when Kim's friend, Lauren London asked for Bret's number for Kim in October of last year.

A source revealed: “They chatted and then they started texting each other.” A friends said: “[Kim] still wanted [Bret] to send nudie pics of himself, but he wouldn’t do it because of Kris. “He’s not that kind of guy.”

When asked about the claims, Bret told the mag: “I don’t like to comment on my personal life, but Kim is a great girl. “I hope she’s happy.”


Kim K, you little slut! What's that old saying, if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, its a duck? We'll in this case the duck is Kim Kardashian.

The second I heard she was dating some jabroni named Kris Humphries I knew it was a matter of time before she went back to the one that brought her to the dance, meaning jacked black dudes. I mean seriously, one look at Humphries and you knew she was already plotting her escape. Oh he spent 2/3 of his yearly salary on an engagement ring? Sorry brah, no amount of jewelry is gonna stop Kimmy K from riding the black stallion.

The funniest part of this is the guy she cheated on him with, a Patriots defensive back named Bret Lockett. Seven career tackles? Missing an entire season with an injury? I mean if she was looking for an athlete who was less relevant than Kris Humphries (a power forward on the New Jersey Nets), she may have found him. The star power requires to fuck Kim Kardashian keeps decreasing, and if this trend keeps up, maybe my softball team has a chance. I love how the article calls Lockett "star"! Maybe in comparison to Humphries.

The moral of the story is that once again, the Patriots win, even if it is a practice squad player all up in dat ass.

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The night the Boston Celtics gave up the No. 1 seed in the Eastern Conference

You want to tell yourself that this season is different for the Boston Celtics but after watching them lose for a third time in their last four games (all to inferior opponents) and you have to finally admit that it's 2009-10 all over again.

The New Jersey Nets (22-43) won their fifth game in a row, 88-79 at the Prudential Center. Boston (47-18) was held under 90 points for the third straight game and it really hurt them since their defense was up to the task.

It was another horrorshow in the second night of a back-to-back for the Celts, they seem destined to lose all of them at this point.

Brook Lopez led the Nets with 20 points while that skank Kim Kardashian's main squeeze Kris Humphries proved his worth with 16 points and 15 rebounds. How does one bounce from Reggie Bush to Humphries? Granted, I don't have the world's most famous butt. It's just funny that I had never noticed Humphries until I found him on my fantasy NBA waiver wire a few months back. I'm sure Kim discovered him in the same manner.

New Jersey's new point guard Deron Williams notched 16 points, nine assists, six rebounds and three steals, Anthony Morrow had 15 points and Travis Outlaw put up 12 points off the bench.

Boston received 19 points from Ray Allen and 18 points and eight rebounds from Kevin Garnett but Glen Davis (16 points, 14 rebounds off the bench) was the only other player to really show up. Rajon Rondo blindly ran into Humphries on a hard screen (easy Kim) and that didn't seem to help him in his recent slump as he was held to two points (1-for-10 shooting) and nine assists.

The weird thing is that the Celtics looked in control when the game started. They were up 23-14 after one quarter but the Nets cut it to 38-36 at halftime. New Jersey got it done in the third quarter (31-23) and Boston couldn't hit any shots in the fourth quarter (21-18 for the Nets).

Boston shot 41.2% to New Jersey's 39.7%. However, the Nets led by Williams (4) and Morrow (3) hit nine more 3-pointers (11-2) and eight more free throws (15-7). The Celtics actually grabbed five more rebounds (50-45) and dished out three more assists (22-19). New Jersey had three more blocks (6-3).

Big Baby looked great in his second game back from knee tendinitis. Hopefully Delonte West can have an impact too as he's set to return tomorrow night when the Celts host the Pacers.

Boston needs to not only win but get their offense back on track. They're tied now atop the Eastern Conference with the Bulls and the Heat are only two games back. There's only 17 more games left in the regular season so they all have meaning for homecourt. Thinking the Celts can get to the Finals again without homecourt throughout the playoffs is naive and not very realistic.