If You Enjoy Car Crashes & Train Wrecks, The 2012 Red Sox Are The MLB Team For You

I didn't even see the game, I followed it on my laptop then caught the last inning on the radio but I would remiss if I didn't mention the latest soul-crushing, mind-numbing, punch to the balls for the Red Sox last night. They have lost nine straight to sub-.500 teams and are five games back in the AL Wild Card.

Boston (53-55, 27-32 home) led Minnesota (47-60, 24-28 away) 4-2 at Fenway Park and were one strike away from ending a three-game losing streak to the second worst team in the American League. Then Joe Mauer hit a three-run bomb (his 7th of the season) just over the Wall in left off Red Sox closer Alfredo Aceves (2-7, 6th blown save).

As always, the Red Sox went down quietly as Jared Burton got a 1-2-3 ninth (on 9 pitches) for his fifth save of the season. Alex Burnett (4-3) got the easy win for recording the last out of the eighth. 2012 circled the drain a long time ago and I currently view this miserable franchise like I did last September: I take some sort of twisted joy from their failure since they are the most unlikable local team I can ever remember.

Clay Buchholz continued to be Boston's best starting pitcher (not much of a contest) and he deserved more than a no decision after seven innings, one run (0 earned) on seven hits with three strikeouts and one walk. Twins rookie Cole DeVries was superb as well against the Red Sox lineup that lacks punch without David Ortiz in it. He went seven innings, allowing two earned runs on four hits with five strikeouts and two walks.

Of course, when we look at the box score, no team that has half as many hits (12-6) and three errors ever really should win. Let's be honest there.

Ben Revere went 3-for-4 with a run and stolen base, extending his hitting streak to 18 games. Justin Morneau (2 hits, RBI) and Jamey Carroll (2 runs, 2 hits, RBI) continued to kill the Red Sox this weekend.

Boston took a 2-0 lead as Carl Crawford had an RBI double in the first and Mike Aviles slugged a solo homer in the second, his career-high 11th of the season.

Minnesota scored a run in the fifth on Kelly Shoppach's throwing error then Morneau's sacrifice fly in the eighth tied it at two.

Pedro Ciriaco-one of the only guys to cheer for this season-came through with a clutch pinch-hit homer in the eighth, the first of his MLB career over the Monster. Cody Ross added an RBI single.

Carroll's RBI single cut it to 4-3 in the ninth as Aceves stuggled to get the two-inning save. Bobby Valentine should have seen that he was struggling and gone to Craig Breslow to face Mauer, but he didn't since he's a moron.

Franklin Morales (2-2) is the only thing that stands between a sweep by the Twins this afternoon (1:35 p.m., NESN) as he returns to the rotation to face Nick Blackburn (4-6). Get your popcorn ready, I'm pretty sure the Red Sox will find a way to do it. This series has been the final death knell to this season that we knew was going nowhere all along.

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The Dog Days Of Summer Have Left The Red Sox All But Dead

When you really look at the numbers after a Red Sox loss this season, they will make your head spin. Take tonight's 6-5 setback to the Twins (46-60, 23-28 away) in 10 innings at Fenway Park.

The Red Sox (53-54, 27-31 home) blew a 5-1 lead as they went 3-for-14 with runners in scoring position, grounded into three double plays and left 10 runners on base. Apparently 14 hits aren't enough as they managed to not score a run with runners on first and third with no outs (1st inning); bases loaded with one out (8th inning) and a runner on second with two outs in the ninth. Oh and the Twins made three errors yet still found a way to beat these bums.

After winning four in a row, Boston has now lost the first two games of a series-at home-to one of the worst teams in the American League.

Justin Morneau (2 doubles, 2 RBIs, run) and Jamey Carroll (double, RBI, walk) both went 4-for-4 as the Twins made Felix Doubront (5 innings, 5 earned runs, 8 hits, 2 strikeouts, 4 walks) pay for his lack of control.

Caroll's RBI single in the 10th off Vicente Padilla (4-1) was the difference. Jeff Gray (6-1) picked up the win with a scoreless 1.1 innings while Jared Burton earned his fourth save of the season. You're not alone if you've never heard of many of the current Twins, who no doubt will be bagging groceries in a few years.

Brian Duensing was the victim of bad luck since he went six innings and allowed five runs (2 earned) on 10 hits with three strikeouts and no walks. In the third, Morneau dropped an easy foul pop-up and on the next pitch, Carl Crawford (3 hits, 2 runs) took him deep for a three-run shot (his 3rd of the season, all in the last week).

Darin Mastroianni (2 hits, run) gave Minnesota an early 1-0 advantage with an RBI single in the second. Kelly Shoppach (2 hits) tied it with an RBI single in the second.

Boston did the rest of its work in the third with Adrian Gonzalez's (run, walk) RBI single preceding Crawford's blast into Minnesota's bullpen.

Due to a tight strike zone and a lack of focus, Doubront blew the four-run lead in the fifth. Josh Willingham walked with the bases loaded, Morneau had a run-scoring single and Danny Valencia tied it at five with a sacrifice fly.

Just in case you forget that Bobby V is in over his head, he made sure to remind us by leaving Ryan Lavarnway in to bat with runners on first and second with two outs in the seventh. I know I was shocked when he fouled out to catcher Joe Mauer to end the threat. Jarrod Saltalamacchia was unavailable because of an ear infection. Haha really. I think most Little League teams are tougher collectively than this group.

Dustin Pedroia (run), Cody Ross (double, run) and Mike Aviles (walk) all padded their stats-what's really important-with a pair of hits in the loss. Ben Revere had two hits and a run for the Twins.

I have become totally numb to the brutal losses and general apathy surrounding this suddenly floundering franchise. I can't deal with any of the drama surrounding Bobby Valentine and the players since it never ends. I truly believe the only way to get the Red Sox front office to pay attention is by not going to Fenway anymore and to stop spending money on all the Red Sox related crap. It's clear that they don't care about wins or losses, otherwise they would have done something to change the makeup of this toxic team last winter.

Clay Buchholz (9-3) faces rookie Cole De Vries (2-2) tomorrow night (7:10 p.m., NESN) as Boston tries to get back to .500 and find a way to beat mighty Minnesota.

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Easily One Of The Worst Losses Of The Year As The Red Sox Were Two-Hit By The Twins

I am in desperate need of more synonyms for mediocre and average. I feel like I use those in every couple posts about the Red Sox this season. Looks like I'll have to consult a dictionary to expand my vocabulary.

Tonight, despite hosting the second-worst team in the American League, the Twins (45-60, 22-28 away) shut out the Red Sox (53-53, 27-30 home) and held them to two hits (a single and double by Adrian Gonzalez).

Jon Lester (5-9) went eight innings (3 earned runs, 7 hits, 7 strikeouts, 0 walks) but he was still outdueled by Minnesota rookie Samuel Deduno (3-0), who pitched six scoreless innings, allowing both hits with one strikeout and four walks. Some might say it's ironic that one of Lester's better outings of the season came in the worst game for the offense.

Casey Fien had a scoreless seventh for the Twins then new closer Glen Perkins picked up his sixth save with a perfect eighth and ninth inning (3 strikeouts).

Boston's slim hopes were flushed down the toilet in the top of the ninth as closer Alfredo Acecves allowed a two-run bomb (5th of the season) to Brian Dozier (3 hits, 2 runs) that made it 5-0.

Denard Span's RBI double and Ben Revere's RBI single (16-game hit streak) in the third gave Minnesota what turned out to be an insurmountable 2-0 lead. Ryan Doumit added an RBI double in the sixth.

Boston will try to avoid its third straight loss and slipping under .500 tomorrow night (7:10 p.m., NESN) as Felix Doubront (10-5) faces Brian Duensing (2-6).

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The Sox are not very good, I've already accepted it

I was all set to watch the Red Sox-Twins series finale yesterday, some day baseball on a Thursday afternoon but it quickly lost my attention as Minnesota shelled Tim Wakefield and won 8-0 to take the opening series at Target Field.

The Twins (7-3) pounded out 15 hits while Boston (4-5) managed six hits and committed three errors. It was not pretty unless you're a fan of Francisco Liriano (1-0).

A former phenom, Liriano missed the 2007 season after Tommy John surgery and in the last two seasons he hasn't been able to find his rookie form. Still, he's only 26 so you can't count him out just yet.

The Red Sox did their best to make him feel good about himself, he went seven scoreless innings, allowing four hits, two walks and eight strikeouts.

Justin Morneau and Nick Punto led Minnesota's legit offense with three hits, Michael Cuddyer had two hits and three RBIs (including a two-run homer) and Denard Span kept getting on base with two hits, two RBIs and run.

Dustin Pedroia was the only guy to show up for Boston's anemic offense, he had half their hits (three).

It doesn't figure to get any easier for the Sox as they come home to the rain and cold temperatures and they have four games against the Tampa Bay Rays starting tonight at frigid Fenway.

As Tom Thumb smiles down from heaven, Dustin Pedroia collects AL MVP award

Fuck all the haters. Yesterday, Boston Red Sox second baseman Dustin Pedroia won the American League MVP in only his second full season in the big leagues.

After winning the AL rookie of the year last season, Pedroia has outdone himself the last few weeks with a Gold Glove, Silver Slugger and now the biggest individual award of them all.

It's heady stuff for a guy that all lazy sportswriters and announcers will tell you (100 times each broadcast or column) is maybe 5-foot-6 and 150 pounds.

You know what, who cares how big Pedroia is? This award has already showed that he never has to prove himself again to anybody.

The ninth Red Sox player to be named AL MVP and first since Mo Vaughn in 1995, Pedroia captured 16 of 28 first-place votes, six second-place votes, four third-place votes and a fourth place vote for 317 total points.

2006 AL MVP Justin Morneau of the Twins came in second with 257 points. Sox first baseman/third baseman Kevin Youkilis finished a solid third with 201 points, including two first-place votes (did Joba have a say in this?).

In 157 games, Pedroia's 2008 season was straight up dirty: he batted .326 (second in the AL), ripped 213 hits (tied for first), 54 doubles (led the majors), led the AL in runs (118) and multi-hit games (61). He was fourth in total bases (322) and seventh in extra-base hits (73). He also had 17 home runs, 83 RBIs and 20 stolen bases. His OBP was .376 and slugging percentage was .493

Tip of the glass to the Sox scouting system, player development staff and minor league teams. Having two homegrown guys finish first and third in the MVP voting in the same season is incredible.

Red Sox comeback falls short as they lose to the Twins

There was no reason the Red Sox should have had a chance last night, after going behind 5-0 and 7-1 but they almost pulled off an improbable win before losing 9-8 to the Twins at the Metrodome on Mother's Day.

Boston pounded out 15 hits, led by Alex Cora (3), Kevin Cash (2), David Ortiz (2), Kevin Youkilis (2), J.D. Drew (2) and Coco Crisp (2).

Twins starter Nick Blackburn (3-2) seemed to be on the ropes for most of his six innings: he allowed four runs on nine hits but struck out five to get the win.

Craig Monroe was the catalyst for the Twins, hitting two homers and driving in four RBIs. Justin Morneau added three hits and two runs.

Tim Wakefield (3-2) gave up seven runs (six earned) on seven hits, with two walks and two strikeouts in 2.2 innings. The knuckleball was completely unpredictable last night for Wake and that wasn't a good thing. Kevin Cash had two passed balls and when Cash wasn't chasing it, the outfielders were watching it leave the yard.

Monroe hit a three-run homer in the second and later in the inning, light-hitting Adam Everett cranked a two-run bomb.

Boston (24-16) got one back but Mike Lamb added two more with a two-run single.

After Wakefield was pulled for Julian Tavarez, the Sox scored three runs in the fourth.

Minnesota (19-17) scored once in the fourth before Crisp (2 runs, 3 RBI, stolen base) hit a two-run homer off reliever Matt Guerrier, cutting it to 8-6.

Monroe added a solo shot in the seventh off Mike Timlin that proved to be a huge run. Timlin's ERA is now a cool 10.00.

Without a doubt, the Sox biggest weakness so far is it's middle relief. Luckily, those are the easiest pieces to add during the season. Timlin, Tavarez, Delcarmen and Co. simply aren't getting it done. Okajima and Papelbon are about as good a set-up man and closer as you'll find but they can't do anything if there's nobody to pitch the seventh.

Joe Nathan came on in the ninth with the three-run lead and almost blew it after not appearing for a week. Drew hit an RBI double that Twins center fielder Carlos Gomez mistimed. Crisp hit a fielder's choice to score a run but Drew got tagged out on a close play at third.

Manny Ramirez, representing the winning run, pinch hit for Cash but grounded out to end it and give Nathan his 12th save.

Boston looks to take the series with the fourth and final game tonight as Clay Buchholz faces Livan Hernandez, who's off to a 5-1 start.