1 Last Soul-Crushing Defeat To Throw On The Dumpster Fire As Red Sox Secure Last Place In AL East

If you thought the Red Sox, the worst team in franchise history since 1966 was going to go out quietly, well you are lucky since you haven't been paying attention to this entire shitshow of a season. Or 13 months to be exact.

In the penultimate contest of their 2012, Boston (69-92, 35-45 away) had a 3-1 lead on the Yankees (94-47, 50-30 home) heading into the bottom of the ninth at Yankee Stadium. No sooner had I tweeted "not over yet" but Curtis Granderson (2 runs, 2 hits, walk, stolen base) singled and pinch-hitter Raul Ibanez tied it with a two-run homer (his 19th of the season) off closer Andrew Bailey (3rd blown save).

Ibanez was the hero again in the 12th with an RBI single against Andrew Miller (3-2) that scored Francisco Cervelli with the winning run. If you're looking for something to root for Red Sox-related tomorrow night (7:05 p.m., NESN) in Game 162, you want Boston to lose and Miami to win. If that happens, they'll "earn" the No. 6 draft pick in 2013. By virtue of their loss and Toronto's win, the Red Sox sealed last place in the AL East for the first time in 20 years. Marvelous.

The Yankees all too predictable comeback win was extremely important to them since Baltimore had already beaten Tampa Bay 1-0. This means both teams are tied heading into the final regular season game with the AL East up for grabs.

Playing with a broken finger, Dustin Pedroia (2 for 3, run, walk) was an inspiration with his RBI double in the first inning. Cody Ross knocked him in with a sacrifice fly and the Red Sox led 2-0.

Jon Lester went five innings, allowing one run (0 earned) on eight hits with one strikeout and one walk. David Phelps went 5.1 innings, allowing two earned runs on three hits with four strikeouts and two walks.

Eduardo Nunez (2 for 3 with double) got the Yanks a run with an infield single in the second inning. James Loney (2 hits) hit a solo homer (2nd with the Red Sox) off Rafael Soriano in the 9th which gave Boston a temporary 3-1 advantage.

Mark Melancon (1.2 scoreless innings) and Vicente Padilla (1 scoreless inning) were able to clean up Bailey's mess but the final salt in the wound was that our old drinking buddy Derek Lowe (9-11) earned the win for New York with two scoreless innings of his own.

Pedro Ciriaco was 2 for 4 with a walk and stolen base in the loss. Derek Jeter (double), Nick Swisher (double, 2 walks), Alex Rodriguez and Robinson Cano each had two hits for the Bombers.

If you like car crashes-and who doesn't-make sure to check out the season finale of the Dead Man Walking Red Sox. Witness Bobby Valentine and Daisuke Matsuzaka's (1-6) last game in a Red Sox uniform. Hiroki Kuroda (15-11) gets to send this historically bad team to another tumultuous offseason filled with drama. I can't even predict what wacky thing those two jokers will pull? Perhaps Bobby V gets thrown out during batting practice or Dice-K finally unleashes the gyro ball? Whatever happens, it is destined to be hilarious.

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Josh Beckett Cements His Place In The Boston Sports Scumbag Hall Of Fame

It is hard to believe how far both the Boston Red Sox and Josh Beckett have fallen off the map in the last few months (going back to September). The ringleader of last season's chicken and beer fiasco, who should have been traded over the winter, has completely given up on his career. Or so it seems. There's no other way to explain it since a guy with his talent should never be this consistently awful.

The Cleveland Indians (18-13, 10-3 away) beat the Red Sox (12-19, 4-11 home) 8-3 tonight in the series opener at Fenway Park. Boston has now lost three games in a row and eight out of nine overall plus 11 of its last 12 games at Fenway.

Beckett (2-4) had his shortest start in nearly four years as he couldn't make it out of the third inning, against a weak hitting team. In the first start since his golf trip last week, the Texas Toughguy showed his true colors by folding easier than anyone could have possibly imagined. In 2.1 innings, he allowed seven earned runs on seven hits with two strikeouts and two walks.

The best part was that Bobby Valentine had to take him out of the middle of the third so that allowed the crowd to really get on Beckett. If the Red Sox are going to go down in flames like this, at least we can all enjoy booing the hell out of a worthless piece of shit like him.

Cleveland scored two runs in the second and four in the third. Former Red Sox first baseman Casey Kotchman opened the floodgates with a sacrifice fly. Jack Hannahan (3rd of the season) hit a two-run homer to right.

It only got worse for Beckett as Jason Kipnis (6th of the season) hit a solo homer to right in the third, followed by Shin-Soo Choo's RBI double and Michael Brantley's (4 hits) double that scored two.

Former Red Sox pitcher Derek Lowe (5-1), who is a few weeks away from his 39th birthday, proved that some guys are winners and never lose the desire to compete in MLB. The sinkerballer went six easy innings, allowing two earned runs on nine hits with three strikeouts and a walk. And to think, the Red Sox easily could have picked him up with a throwaway trade to the Braves.

Daniel Nava had an RBI double in the fifth, his first game in 2012 with Boston, then Dustin Pedroia (5th of the season) homered to right in the seventh. Pedroia actually came to the plate as the tying run with two outs in the eighth and the bases loaded but he popped up.

Carlos Santana tacked on one more Indians run in the ninth with a sacrifice fly.

The main reason that the Red Sox have been so brutal is that their starting rotation is nothing less than a nightmare. You keep waiting for somebody to step up and throw a gem but other than Lester's win in Chicago, that has been severely lacking. I've said the bullpen has sucked (and it has at times) but who can blame them when they've been forced to throw 3+ innings every single game.

Ubaldo Jimenez (3-2) faces Clay Buchholz (3-1) tomorrow night (7:10 p.m., NESN) and if you want to make some money: bet against Boston. I'm serious, for whatever reason they were pretty big favorites tonight. We might as well get something tangible from this lost season, it's only a matter of time before Vegas figures out that this team is hopeless and changes up the lines.

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