I love 'em but women will never understand the innate attraction of fantasy football to the average, straight American male. I was reminded of this fact Sunday night as a group of my hometown buddies and myself had our annual draft for our Yahoo league.
Now that I'm out of college (and therefore my social life has taken a nose dive), I can say without hyperbole that my fantasy football league, highlighted by the draft is one of the best parts of the year for me.
We always do a live draft (instead of online) which can be a logistical nightmare but it more than makes up for it since being in the same room together is so much more fun than holding it online while we all look for porn.
There's so many things to like about the draft: drinking, eating, countless inside jokes about others in the league (and recently kicked out), obscure references to NFL players, the list goes on and on.
The older you get, the less fun you seem to have on a day to day basis, sucks right? Fantasy sports, and football particularly since it's the best, lets guys be guys for a few precious hours. We don't have to hang out with girlfriends, hookers or phone sex operators, wasting time doing things we really don't want to do.
Nope, fantasy football is Mantown, USA. Anything is fair game and you're probably not going to laugh more per minute than you do this one time a year. My fantasy football league with my friends from Beverly is one of the most important things in my life. That sounds sad at first but it's the best to see a bunch of people I've grown up with, that I have so much in common with.
We're not all still living in Beverly: Kev lives in Wakefield, Dave is in Attleboro, Christo is in Framingham (pretending he has a job) and KC is in Wallingford, CT just to name a few. What ties us together is this league.
Something that older generations and a certain sex (broads!) don't get is that playing fantasy football (or any fantasy sport for that matter) cultivates more appreciation for the games. When the New England Patriots are on, that takes up my full attention but having fantasy players all around the league means that virtually no game is meaningless anymore. Bills-Dolphins in December? Sure it's a shitty game but I might have Marshawn Lynch and the guy I'm playing that week might have Ronnie Brown. Suddenly, I care about what otherwise would be pretty worthless games.
To throw a few cliches out there, girls spend enough time with each other watching Sex and the City, shopping and uh getting their hair done? Yeah that's it. The least they can do is let their man have Sunday (and Monday night) to himself. It's not that we don't care about you, it's just that work, bills, life in general is so much of a routine that we need an escape. Hello NFL football.
The beauty of fantasy sports is that hope is always around the corner. You can have a worthless bunch of losers but at least once or twice a season, they'll put it together and you'll knock off one of the better teams in the league.
In summation, girls are great (aside from hating on fantasy sports), fantasy football is the shit and my hometown friends are cooler than yours.
Good luck to all the fantasy teams out there and pray with me that Tony Romo (my top pick) doesn't motorboat Jessica Simpson too much and has some energy for another spectacular season (before choking in the playoffs).
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