Might as well end the season now

A good test of someone's sanity and how much of a prisoner of the moment they are is to gauge their viewpoint after a baseball team has been swept in April.

If you freak out and start talking like the season is over, like the Boston Globe's over-the-hill Dan Saughnessy, you have completely lost touch with reality and it's best for everyone if you retire this second.

The Boston Red Sox started their 2011 season in about the worst possible fashion: getting swept in Texas by the Rangers.

Last season's AL champs, the Rangers (3-0) wrapped up the laughable beating with a 5-1 win yesterday afternoon at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington.

Red Sox (0-3) starter Clay Buchholz (6.1 innings, 5 hits, 4 earned runs, 2 walks, 3 strikeouts) was no match for a Texas lineup that churned out 11 home runs in the three lopsided victories.

Ian Kinsler and Nelson Cruz became the first teammates to start a season with homers in three consecutive games.

The reason I'm not panicking one iota is that the baseball season is so ridiculously long. Sorry Dan, a three-game sample in April tells us nothing about how this team will play in the summer or fall. You also have to give Texas credit, this wasn't the Kansas City Royals that were looking like world-beaters.

Rangers starter Matt Harrison pitched what I would venture to guess was probably his best game in the majors: 7 innings, 5 hits, 1 earned run, 2 walks and eight strikeouts.

Carl Crawford was about the only bright spot for Boston. He was temporarily dropped from third to seventh in the lineup (ahhhh!) but responded with the first two hits of his Red Sox career, including an RBI single in the seventh.

Texas got solo homers in the second, third, fifth and seventh inning from David Murphy, Kinsler, Mike Napoli and Cruz respectively.

Michael Young added an RBI double in the eighth off Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon. Pap hadn't gotten a chance to pitch all weekend so he was thrown into a 4-1 deficit and promptly gave up two hits and a walk before striking out the side with the bases loaded. Makes sense. Get used to a lot of white-knuckle work by Papelbon, who no longer has great stuff.

Boston mercifully gets today off before beginning a three-game series in Cleveland tomorrow. Josh Beckett takes the mound tomorrow night and will try to get the Red Sox in the win column for 2011. If the terrible Indians roll over the Red Sox, then we'll really have something to talk about.

John Lackey is hopeless

Oh John Lackey, you make it too easy.

While the rest of the United States was captivated by the NCAA basketball men's Final Four (count me among them), the Boston Red Sox were getting smoked by the Texas Rangers last night.

Every Ranger had a hit (15 total) as Texas (2-0) rolled to a 12-5 win over Boston (0-2) at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington.

As I predicted, this one wasn't a pitcher's duel. Well at least Colby Lewis showed up (6 innings, 6 hits, 3 earned runs, 2 walks, 4 strikeouts). Lackey (3.2 innings, 10 hits, 9 earned runs, 2 walks, 3 strikeouts) couldn't make it out of the fourth inning. Yikes.

It's only a matter of time before Lackey is moved to third or even fourth in the rotation, assuming that Josh Beckett is a shell of his former self. Nobody not named Lackey can honestly believe he's a No. 2 starter on an AL East team and a World Series contender.

Ian Kinsler had a leadoff homer for the second straight game but David Ortiz answered with a two-run bomb, his second of the season, in the second inning for a 2-1 Boston lead.

That's when the wheels started to fall off for Lackey and the Red Sox. Elvis Andrus (3 hits, 2 runs, 2 RBIs) had an RBI triple in the third and Josh Hamilton (2 hits, stolen base) added an RBI single.

Ortiz tied it at 3 with an RBI groundout in the fourth but Texas exploded with six runs in the fourth. Julio Borbon (2 hits) had an RBI triple and Andrus had an RBI double. Former Red Sox Adrian Beltre took any intrigue out of this one with a grand slam off Lackey.

All that was left was to pad the stats for the Rangers as Yorvit Torrealba took Dan Wheeler deep (two-run homer in the fifth) and Nelson Cruz hit a solo homer off Tim Wakefield in the sixth.

The only other highlight for Boston was Jacoby Ellsbury's two-run homer in the seventh.

The Red Sox will try to avoid the sweep and an unsightly 0-3 start this afternoon as Clay Buchholz faces Matt Harrison. That matchup clearly favors Boston so Buchholz needs to settle down his team and quiet the Rangers' potent lineup.

Bruins clinch Northeast Division, start printing the useless t-shirts and hats

The Boston Bruins fought through a Saturday afternoon game (one of their least favorite things) to get a 3-2 win over the Atlanta Thrashers yesterday at TD Garden.

It was very meaningful too since it let the Bs (44-23-11) clinch the Northeast Division and with it, the number three seed in the Eastern Conference.

With only four games remaining in the regular season, Boston looks locked into the third spot and (hold your breath), Montreal appears similarly set at No. 6.

In such a strange game against Atlanta (33-33-12), it is only fitting that Mr. Jekyll and Hyde himself, Michael Ryder, turned out to be the biggest hero.

With the score knotted at 2-2 in the third period, Ryder was hauled down while he broke in alone on Thrashers goaltender Ondrej Pavelec (21 saves).

Ryder was 0-for-1 on penalty shots in his career but that didn't matter as he went top-shelf for his 18th goal of the season at 12:31. The game-winner shows how hard it is to sit Ryder. He's usually a bum but he can pull shots like that out of his ass from time to time. Something to keep in mind in the playoffs.

Bruins goaltender Tuukka Rask (28 saves; 10-13-2) made the lead stick. It was nice to see him be a part of such an important win since he's been so snake-bitten all season.

Mark Recchi gave the Bs a 1-0 lead with a classic Rex goal at 4:34. It was a rebound from out front, assisted by Patrice Bergeron and Brad Marchand (who deservingly won the Seventh Player Award yesterday).

Thrashers defenseman Dustin Byfuglien scored his 20th of the season at 11:11 of the first period. It was on a power play, from Zach Bogosian and Bryan Little. The shot deflected of Rask's back and into the net.

Evander Kane put Atlanta up 2-1 at 1:37 of the second period from Nik Antropov. Kane was in the right place, in the slot, as the puck bounced right to him and Rask didn't have a chance.

Daniel Paille of all people tied it at 2 with a shorthanded goal (of course), his fourth of the season at 6:18 (unassisted). Paille stole the puck in Atlanta's zone and beat Pavelec with a close-range snipe.

Boston travels to New York City tomorrow night to face the Rangers.

You know it's bad when Zaza Pachulia is unstoppable

Last night in Atlanta, it was a battle of who cared less (apologies to Ben Folds): the Boston Celtics or the Atlanta Hawks.

Neither team was into it (as evidenced by the numerous easy baskets and layups) but the Hawks (44-32) eventually made enough plays to come away with a depressing 88-83 win over the Celtics (52-23) at the Philips Arena.

I say depressing because the main reason that Atlanta was victorious had to do with the energy provided by goofball big man Zaza Pachulia. He had 15 points and 10 rebounds in just 23 minutes off the bench. Jamal Crawford led the Hawks with 20 points off the bench but that's at least forgivable since he's a good NBA player. There is absolutely no reason that Zaza should be dropping double-doubles in your eyeball.

Paul Pierce led Boston with a game-high 25 points and eight rebounds but he couldn't do it alone in the second night of the back-to-back road games. Rajon Rondo had 13 points, 10 assists and five rebounds while Ray Allen (11 points), Kevin Garnett (10 points) and Delonte West (10 points, 5 assists off the bench) all barely reached double figures.

The terrible pro sports fans in Atlanta were treated to a real snoozefest in the first half as the Hawks led 23-21 after the first quarter but the Celtics woke up for a 52-44 advantage.

The third quarter was another dud (18-16 Atlanta) and then the Hawks started looking like a playoff team in the fourth quarter (26-15 Hawks) while the Celtics were content to take hopeless 3-pointers and long jumpers.

Boston shot 44.6% to 36.7% for Atlanta. The Celtics made two more 3-pointers (6-4) but Atlanta lived at the free throw line (26-11 free throws made). Atlanta had 14 more rebounds (52-38) but Boston had eight more assists (22-14), four more blocks (5-1) and three more steals (5-2).

With the loss, the Cs fell half a game behind the Miami Heat (with a game in hand for Boston) into the third spot in the Eastern Conference. Only seven more games left, Boston hosts the Detroit Pistons tomorrow night at TD Garden.

Red Sox bullpen blows Opening Day and it wasn't even Papelbon's fault

Opening Day is one of baseball's special moments. The season begins anew and even the hopeless franchises have something to celebrate for a day.

Seeing your newest players in action is always a highlight and yesterday, Adrian Gonzalez and Carl Crawford couldn't have scripted much different debuts for the Boston Red Sox.

Gonzalez had two hits and three RBIs while Crawford was 0-for-4 with three strikeouts as the Sox lost 9-5 to the Texas Rangers at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington.

Neither starting pitcher did much as Jon Lester (5.1 innings, 6 hits, 5 earned runs, 1 walk, 0 strikeouts, 3 home runs) and C.J. Wilson (5.2 innings, 6 hits, 4 runs (2 earned), 2 walks, 6 strikeouts) looked better suited for some extended Spring Training.

The most surprising aspect was that Boston's bullpen imploded and yet Jonathan Papelbon didn't even get a shot to screw it up.

David Ortiz tied it up at five with a solo shot off Darren Oliver in the eighth inning but Texas scored four times in the home half of the inning.

Josh Bard was charged with four earned runs as David Murphy started it off with a two-run double down the left field line that hit the chalk. Elvis Andrus and Josh Hamilton followed with RBI doubles of their own and it was game over.

Boston was not going to score one run let alone four off All-Star closer Neftali Feliz.

The Red Sox got off to a nice start with two unearned runs in their first at bats of the season. Rangers center fielder Julio Borbon dropped a routine fly ball and Kevin Youkilis took advantage by knocking in Jacoby Ellsbury (2 hits, 2 runs, walk, steal) with an RBI double. Gonzalez kept the line moving with an RBI single in his first plate appearance for the Red Sox.

The defending AL champions got to work immediately and Ian Kinsler hit a lead-off homer against Lester in the bottom of the first, cutting it to 2-1.

Nelson Cruz (2 hits, 2 runs) tied it in the second with another solo homer.

Gonzalez came through once again with a timely hit, a two-run single in the fourth gave Boston a 4-2 lead.

Mike Napoli (2 hits, 2 runs) wrestled the lead back for the Rangers with a three-run bomb in the fourth inning (5-4 Rangers). Lester only allowed 14 home runs last season but he gave up three yesterday.

Boston's 1-6 in the lineup is lethal but it's clear that 7-9 is likely to be a black hole. Yesterday against the lefty Wilson, Mike Cameron, Jarrod Saltlamacchia and Marco Scutaro combined to go 0-for-11 with three strikeouts.

John Lackey goes for the Red Sox tonight and he'll be opposed by Colby Lewis. Needless to say, expect a high-scoring game.

Kids don't be scared: Zombie Jermaine O'Neal is here to let us know the playoffs are coming

The San Antonio Spurs, the NBA's best team (record wise), came into last night's game on a four-game losing streak. They had never lost five games in the Tim Duncan era. They sat Duncan, Tony Parker, Manu Ginobli and Antonio McDyess on Monday to get them set for their meeting against the Boston Celtics.

Short of Las Vegas taking this game off the board, this seemed like a lock for the Spurs since the Celtics were in a tailspin.

That's why they play the games folks. Boston conjured up its best effort in weeks with a 107-97 at the AT&T Center. The Celtics (52-22) finish 2-0 against San Antonio (57-18) in the regular season. The Bulls and Lakers are on fire right now but who knows, maybe we'll see these two teams meet again in June.

For the second straight game, Rajon Rondo was special. He had a team-high 22 points, 14 assists (no turnovers) and five rebounds. Most surprising, he kept knocking down important jump shots. (Rubs eyes) Is that the same Rondo I know?

Paul Pierce nearly had a triple-double with 21 points, 11 rebounds and seven assists while Kevin Garnett had 20 points and nine assists. Ray Allen (3 for 11) continued to struggle with his shot but he had 13 points.

The only bad news coming out of the game was the possible serious knee injury suffered by Nenad Krstic. His knee bent very awkwardly as he ran the floor and he's scheduled to have an MRI this weekend. If he's done for the season, it would be a big loss. Glen Davis stepped up off the bench as per usual and put up 16 points and eight rebounds.

Jermaine O'Neal played for the first time in two months, scoring five points in 11 minutes. Anything you get from that corpse is a bonus at this point. Von Wafer also returned (for 2 minutes) after missing a few weeks with a calf injury.

Tony Parker led the Spurs with a game-high 23 points and eight assists. Tim Duncan had 20 points and 13 assists with Richard Jefferson adding 14 points. Ginobili was held to nine points.

San Antonio came out flying and led 33-31 after the first quarter but it was knotted at 49 at halftime. Boston looked the NBA title contender it should be with a strong third quarter (28-21) and the fourth (30-27).

The Celts shot 54.8% to 43.3% for the Spurs. San Antonio hit six more 3-pointers (8-2) while Boston knocked down two more free throws (13-11). Propelled by Rondo's perfect night, the Cs had eight more dimes (29-21).

Boston plays in Atlanta tonight. It's a back to back so I'm not going to pretend that the Celtics will play anything like they did last night. However, the Hawks are so up and down that this might be the rare occasion that Boston can steal a back-to-back on the road.

Good news for the Bruins: no shootouts in the playoffs and probably no Maple Leafs

The Toronto Maple Leafs are not particularly good. Granted, they've improved by leaps and bounds over the last few pathetic seasons of their Original Six existence but they'll once again likely miss the playoffs in 2010-11.

For some unknown reason, Toronto (36-32-10) has given Boston (43-23-11) fits this season and last night's 4-3 shootout win at TD Garden for the Leafs wrapped up a 4-2 season series in their favor.

The Bruins didn't even play that poorly, albeit they gave up two one-goal leads, but it's clear that shootouts are still their biggest weakness. So let's thank the Gods and Gary Bettman that the stupid gimmick is not used in the playoffs.

Joffrey Lupul led Toronto with two goals and an assist while Phil Kessel had two assists in the win. Rookie goaltender James Reimer (19-8-4) continued to play well for the Maple Leafs, stopping 35 shots in the win.

Brad Marchand had a goal and an assist for the Bruins while goaltender Tim Thomas (33-10-9) made 28 saves in the loss that still earned Boston the fraudulent one point.

Luke Schenn gave the Leafs a 1-0 lead at 7:06 of the first period as his shot took a lucky bounce of Tomas Kaberle's skate and past Thomas.

Boston exploded for three goals in the second period. Marchand tied it up at 1 just 2:09 into the frame with his fifth shorthanded tally of the season (21st goal overall). He intercepted the puck at center ice, then skated in, fended off a Toronto player and beat Reimer. One of Marchand's best plays of the season in what has been a superb rookie campaign for Marchmont (inside joke).

David Krejci was the recipient of tic-tac-toe passing, scoring his 13th of the season at 3:08 from Milan Lucic and Nathan Horton.

Lupul evened it at 2 with a power-play strike at 7:06 from Kessel and Tyler Bozak. It was a nice feed from Kessel and Lupul basically whiffed but it went off his skate (unintentionally).

Andrew Ference gave Boston it's final lead at 3-2 with his 3rd of the season at 8:31. He jumped up on the play and his quick release coupled with a key deflection fooled Reimer. Marchand and Patrice Bergeron assisted.

These two teams clearly don't like each other and their constant battles after the whistle morphed into a heavyweight fight as Lucic took on Jay Rosehill in a lengthy bout in the second period.

Lupul tied it at 3 at 7:53 of the third period from Kessel and Schenn. A poor clearance by Boston put the puck on Lupul's stick and he roofed it over Thomas.

Nobody could find the back of the net in overtime, despite a bogus penalty shot awarded to Toronto, so the teams went to the shootout.

Tyler Seguin, Michael Ryder and Rich Peverley all were unsuccessful for Boston and Nazem Kadri beat Tim Thomas for the winner.

With the point, the Bruins are guaranteed of at worst tying for the Northeast Division title with Montreal.

Boston hosts Atlanta tomorrow afternoon. As I said last weekend after their no-show against the Rangers, the Bruins are horrible in afternoon games but you have to believe they have some extra motivation in this one.